My days at Bal Mandir

August 19 2006

My days at Bal Mandir are quickly coming to an end! Starting tomorrow I have only 6 days left volunteering. I can gather hardly gather enough courage to leave the orphanage some days even knowing that I will return the next morning let alone leave for good. It breaks my heart to think that I wont see these beautiful little people anymore! This past week has been hard to leave at the end of each day. Some of the kids have grown very attached to me. I love them to death as well. A couple of them cry and cry when I turn to leave and them I go back and pick them up and hug them and stay longer. It’s so sad. I have grown quite close to some of the older kids in kindergarten and grade 1 that Jeannine work with. I visit them everyday and they often come looking for me in the toddler room. They call me ‘Tara Didi’ which means Tara Sister! Isn’t it the cutest thing?! I have been bringing nail polish with me the last week and the kids always say ‘polish’. They love getting their nails painted – even the boys! I sit on the ground with the polish and there are hands coming at me from every direction! They all want their nails painted at the same time – they have a hard time waiting. I also put tikkas on their foreheads with nail polish too. It is too cute. They know I have nail polish now and one or two kids will come to me everyday asking for it like they come asking for lip-gloss! And when I bring them in treats – it is even worse. When I hand out chocolate or cookies to the toddlers - the ones that are waiting actually cry and sometimes throw tantrums! So, needless to say I can’t pass stuff out fast enough! But once their little hand latch on to what I’m giving out their tears completely disappear.

I stayed behind one day with a tube of henna in the courtyard – I didn’t quite know whether I should break it out or not but I did! I thought what the hell! Well – did I ever get attacked! It was way worse than the nail polish episodes. I could not even squeeze the henna from the tube. I couldn’t move! Children were all over me. I guess the courtyard was not the best spot because kids of all ages play there. If I had been in a classroom at least there would have only been so many children. So, my henna art started off nice and them it ended up just being a messy star on each of their hands because I couldn’t get through them fast enough. I was there for about an hour and the number of kids surrounding me was only growing. So, finally I passed the tube of henna over to one of the didis and apologized! They were smiling though and as I walked away I looked back to see her taking over my little task! It was fun while it lasted.

About two weeks ago I mentioned to Jeannine that one little boy, Pawin, in her grade one class looked like a little girl, Angeli, in my toddler class. Pawin was alwasy visiting Angeli in my toddler room. He picks up for her when people are being mean and he is overall really sweet to her. I was thinking that they were way to young to have a crush or something!! A day or two later I was really wondering whether they were brother and sister or not because their features were so similar. I asked Shanta, one of the didis, if they were brother and sister. It ends up that that Pawin and Angeli and another little girl Puspa are all brother and sisters and they only came to Bal Mandir 7 months ago. Their ages are about 4, 6, and 8!! I couldn’t believe it – I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened with their parents. I don’t know but it bothers me to think of it. They are very very skinny right now and the didis said that they were way smaller when they first arrived. I cannot imagine them any smaller! They are so gorgeous though. I am especially attached to these 3 children – there is something about them. I love them to death! I want to take all 3 of them home! So, then after finding out about this family I was very interested in finding out who else was related. I guessed another two children were brother and sister because of their features and I was right and then the didis told us about other children in our classes that had a brother or sister. I became totally fixated with the children who were related and ran around taking pictures of them with just their brother or sister. I think it is important for them to have pictures together. I am making a photo album for each of my toddlers before I leave to put away in their files. I am hoping this way when they are older they will get the pictures that I have taken of them. They love getting their picture taken. They are always asking for me to take their photo. They say ‘photo didi, photo, one photo’. Some of the older kids have asked me to bring in their photo when I get it developed.

Friday passed, Jeannine paid for her 24 of her kindergaren and grade 1 kids to go to the zoo. So, I went along with them to help including 6 other didis. We packed all kinds of snacks and lunch for them. We had so many bags on our way to work that we had to taxi to Bal Mandir. We had to feed 34 people – so you can only imagine how much food we had with us. Jeannine rented a bus for the day. The kids were so excited and they were dressed in all their best clothes. All 34 of us piled in the one van that could legally fit only 12 people in Canada! No road rules in Nepal! The kids were unbelievably cute. They sang the whole way to the zoo!! Jeannine and I were taking pictures and they didn’t even realize that we had our cameras out! That says something!!! They never miss when we take our cameras out! They were so happy. At the zoo each of the adults had 5 children. Each group walked around holding hands. It was a lot of fun. We had a picnic twice – a snack and then lunch and the kids played in the park after walking through the zoo. Pawin stayed with me the entire time always holding my hand. He is the cutest little boy. I could hardly take my hand away to scratch my face or anything! I’m actually in love with him and his sisters! I don’t know what I am going to do next Friday when I have to say goodbye. I know I will find enough strength somehow but it is going to be so hard to do. My eyes are watering just thinking about it.

Tomorrow is Children’s Day and Bal Mandir celebrates it every year but apparently this year they cannot afford to. Jeannine and I are going to celebrate with our kids anyways. I am going to take my toddlers to the kindergarten and grade one classroom. We are going to bring in Nepali sweets, nail polish and henna, and Jeannine is cutting up colorful paper right now for them to make crafts. I’m looking forward to it. It is going to be a fun day. I want to make the best of this next week. I really cannot believe I wont see their sweet little smiles and bright faces anymore. Time has gone so fast but my time spent here has been amazing. It has made me realize how good my life has been but it has also made me realize how much happiness I can give to these less fortunate children and how much I want to help to make a difference.